5 GEVURAH POWER; HEI SELF EXPRESSION; THE TAROTIC HYBRID STRENGTH/POWER

Traditionally V is the Pope or Hierophant. In the Jewish Tree of Life, V sits on the right hand side, the female side of God. Lilith is a Lady of Karma. Many see her as a destructive force because she has her thumb on the Button of Destruction which means she has great power and strength. Because she CAN doesn’t mean she will. What she’s most concerned about is Justice, though its severe. She’s REALLY tired of the Bullshit. But mostly she’s sad. Her children have been taken and she sees the sad state of the world. It was not supposed to be this way.

Kristin’s most poignant memory is of Egypt. I should have put a silhouette of Bast with an Ankh hanging from her neck, but decided on a simpler approach since actually this isn’t about Egypt, but Mesopotamia.

From what the Elders have said, the consciousness we understand to be Lucifer was a scientist designing our spirits which would grow here on Earth. As I’ve said, Atat, Nereida’s surrogate is a hybrid, like Dana Redfield. Kristin’s became a sort of Siamese twin. 2 of the four parts of her Monad are attached, the 1st and 2nd. Apparently, they didn’t like them separated, the “1” being Geshtinana and Dumuzi’s sister and surrogate and the “2” being Erishkegal, Queen of the Underworld who had issues with just about everybody.

In myth, Geshtinana spends half her time in the Underworld as a resolution to Inanna needing a substitute. Somewhere in there she became permanently attached to Erishkegal, who is (according to the Elders) Geshtinana’s niece. Erishkegal is Inanna’s (my) sister and of course, Dumuzi is Inanna’s father/lover. Oh those gods.

THE STORY: David and I decided to close the doors of Terra Incognita in June of 2005. David had recently released his surrogate (a tragic story) and it seemed the temple was asking more energy than it was giving. I had been dealing with people in their 20s and felt I was done being a caregiver. We both felt this was time to heal and think about our needs. David and I were co-organizers for a monthly pagan event called “Light of the Moon” from which we ran much of our ritual and got many of our members and it was at this June event we announced we were closing our doors.

David had gone back to the house to return some of our things and I stayed cleaning up odds and ends. As I was getting ready to leave a beautiful young light skinned black girl came into the yard. She was responding an ad one of our older members put online to join her Pagan class. I couldn’t believe how odd it was that such an ideal person would walk into our little scene just as we were leaving. She asked me to directher to the right door which I did and went home. I chattered about this beautiful young girl interested in witchcraft — I continued to chatter about her as we started back to put away picnic tables and lounge chairs. Suddenly, I saw her across the street and got the message in my head “She is going to be extremely important to the temple.” But how can that be? the temple’s closed? no answer. I told the gods if they wanted her that bad, they’d have to make it easy because I wasn’t going through anymore seducing people to our altar. I “heard” “Cross the street.”

I tugged at David’s arm, “There she is!” He looked at her and remarked that she looked awfully young.  She certainly did. So, I crossed the street and said hi. I asked her why she was leaving so soon after arriving at Light of the Moon. She told me she was there only to sign up for a class on witchcraft. I asked her where she lived and told me she’d ridden the train 2 hours to see about this class. 2 hours! Lordy Chicago’s a big city. We were walking back to the train which was only 1/2 block away due west. It was a shame we’d just shut our doors because we’d be able to teach her, but instead I could email her classes closer to her home – Her face lit up … “It sounds like you know a lot of people..” Well, yes – I know the Pagan community. “Here’s my number, my home number and my email…invite me over for dinner! and by the way, I’m vegetarian.”

OK, that was too easy….

The next weekend we’d booked the Lessins, Tantra instructors from Maui. Their classes were very expensive, bout $300 per couple  for a weekend.. They were trying to break even on the airfare. There were more men than women and in such cases, the instructors allow a female to participate for free for gender balance. I called her and she said she couldn’t come on Friday, but she could make it on Saturday…which she did.

She followed me downstairs during break and told me that when she was 12, a voice came out of her to support her mother through a deep emotional crisis which sent this usually rock solid Nurse Practitioner into a severe depression. The voice that helped her mother was apparently Lilith and this same voice told Kristin I was supposed to be her teacher.

She was 21 years old…too young to be handling the responsibilities of T/I priesthood. “Oh no sweetheart,” I said. “This is a sexual magick temple whose gods use the energy women give from their orgasms. And I’d be sure she was ready if I could sell her to an 80 year old man.” She was quiet for less than 30 seconds, but her response was shocking. “I don’t know if I could do it … but I’m willing to try.”

NO NO  NO – THAT was NOT supposed to happen. shit shit shit shit.

We’d known from the beginning of TTI that Lilith was our patroness. So out of all the tales to tell me to convince me she belonged with us, she picked the right one.  I had to take her – Kristin initiated through me doing oral sex on her about 6 months later. We sent her to classes with the Reclaiming community that has since dissolved. We both went to college, graduating 2009 — she majoring in theater and me majoring in Religious Studies. She was our sole source of energy for 7 years as she lived in a bedroom upstairs. She left us after graduation, getting an apartment a few blocks south of us and eventually put an ad on Craig’s List for a room mate and Nereida was the only one who answered the ad. Amazing how these things unfold.

GEMATRIA: The numerical value of hei is five. Not only does the hei repre­sent the garments of thought, speech and action, but these garments comprise a total of five elements: two levels of thought, imaginative and meditative; two levels of speech, the words of the heart and the words of the lips; and one level of action. Why does action only have one level? Because when it comes to action, you either do something or you don’t. There­fore, in the design of the hei, the line representing action (the separate vertical segment of the hei) is half a line.

Five also signifies the five levels of the soul: nefesh, ruach, neshamah, chayah and yechidah. The fifth tier, yechidah, means union. People commonly refer to this level of the soul as the pintele Yid, the G‑dly spark that every Jew possesses. The pintele Yid is the spark that can never become contaminated or extinguished, the spark that unites every Nephilim with the original Monad)

THE MEANING: The Fifth letter of the Alephbeit is Hei and holds two of the four places in the Tetragrammaton. The Hei is a dalet with a yud as its right leg.  In Chassidic thought, the hei represents thought, speech and action the three forms of self expression. The top line represents the equality of all spirits. The right vertical line represents the higher state of the ruler or hierarchy as with a King who rules with his words and makes decrees. The short line represents action. It is detached because it is very difficult to bring good intention to fruition; to translate your words into action.  Without the yud of action, we’re left with being a poor dalet. The Talmud informs us that the hei also represents teshuvah—repentance. But, teshuvah does not only involve regret for commission of a sin, it also means re­turning to one’s essential self and the Nephilim will return to their initial form, though much more evolved.

        
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